A process to process
Searching photo library by date
I’ve been taking a photo most every day for 20 years. While I strive to post these snapshots regularly, inevitably, chunks of time get skipped or days are so full that editorial choices must be made.
What began as a way to remind myself of topics to journal about turned into a routine that influenced the shape of my life.
Days vary greatly — they can be quiet or delightful, boring, incredibly full, and sometimes? Heavy.
In October 2023, my sister Robin passed away unexpectedly.
In those first days of grief I found myself overwhelmed. I spent hours trying to find photos of her.
I needed a process to process.
One morning, I decided to focus on today’s date and sift through decades of photos from the day. It was a lovely stroll down memory lane, unearthing gems that had gathered digital dust.
I did this again the following day, and the next… It provided a framework to grieve her loss and celebrate moments.
Now each day before I open email, look at social media or read the news, I have a coffee date with my sister’s spirit. I wake up earlier to make time for this ritual and look forward to seeing seasons unfold through the different phases of life.
It can be disarming to watch your life flash before your eyes in a manner of minutes, but I feel joy in the highlights and sturdier in anticipation of rough patches.
This process has turned being overwhelmed into a meditation of moments that expand. Whenever something good pops up I send images to friends and family. This often turns into a conversation and plans to reconnect proper.
I didn’t anticipate the fruit of grieving would bring so much love to loss.
I’m not sure what I’ll do when I cycle through the calendar (this ritual began Halloween of 2023), but I will continue to celebrate the process, reconnecting with folks and my sister’s spirit.
I’m always hoping to catch a new glimpse of her. (Those moments are extra good.)
A brother puts his sister’s hair in a braidMother and son by holiday spreadMy sister hams it up for the camera
Additional notes and links
- The last day I land on every morning is today’s date — the results are empty. I take a deep breath and spend a minute or so to think about what good can come of the day.
- I feel you don’t need twenty years of photos to make this process work. I think it’s about: a.) Carving out time and space to practice reflection — and b.) Engaging with the present and future in some manner.
- I’ve been posting unearthed snapshots on Threads along the way.
- Sometimes I’ll share longer memories from a photo under the category of Recollections
- I made a video of my process below (or this link if the embed is borked). It’s 20 minutes, but the first 3 cover the basics.
- On October 31, 2024 I completed looking back at every day of 20 years and wrote this letter to my sister. 🩵